So I know I've already done a post on the dangers of anger, but I saw this on a friend's status the other day and it hit me at a really important time for me right now. It said:
"Being mad with somebody is like drinking a strong poison but expecting them to die"
It's not that I'm angry, I'm not mad at all actually. But I feel like we can substitute any bad feeling or emotion into that. For me it's jealous and wanting to be better and wanting them to hurt too and bitterness and wanting to win. But you know what? That's so un-Christian-like of me. All those feelings are is poison. They eat you from the inside out and destroy you. When you harbor feelings like that it hurts you just as much, if not more, than whoever it is your opposing. So why even feel them at all?
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every other form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
- Ephesians 4:31-32
Well we all know it's never an easy task to be nice to someone who is nothing but terrible to us. We will never have the same heart that Jesus has and be able to love someone so unconditionally and harbor no hate or bitterness. But we can try. I've had so many instances this week where I've found myself full of bitterness and rage and then just recently a sense of.. defeat.. Like I've failed. I hate all of those feelings, they hurt to be inside my body. So I started my bible quest as soon as my bible and I were reunited and as always it didn't disappoint. As soon as I flipped it open I was led to Jesus talking about Judas. Even though Judas betrayed Him in the most terrible of ways, Jesus still died for his sins, and for the sins of all of us. Jesus never felt hate or bitterness towards Judas or throughout His entire situation. That fact makes me step back and look at myself a little more. I am SO selfish to have bitterness inside of me. Who am I to judge another or hate? God is the only rightful judge. How hard does that hit? For me it hits pretty dang hard. I always find myself judging people I don't even know and I shouldn't.
Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
- Leviticus 19:17&18
I don't know about you, but it's hard to completely forgive somebody of something horrible. If a friend stabs you in the back, how hard is it for us to forgive and love that person? That's really hard to do. I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges against somebody just because of something a person has done to me. But if you mess with my family or say something bad about them, it's all over in my mind. I will never look at someone who does that the same way and I'm learning that that's the wrong attitude to have. Revenge, although it may feel like such a desperate need, is not the right way to go. God said that we're not to "seek revenge or bear a grudge" but that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. That is so hard for me you guys, I'm struggling so hard with it, but I'm praying about it. I'm trying to get to a place where my heart is completely free of malice. Malice, according to good ol' dictionary.com, means the desire to inflict injury, harm, or suffering on another, either because of a hostile impulse or out of deep-seatedmeanness: the malice and spite of a lifelong enemy.
I think it's safe to say that we've all had a time in our lives when we've wanted revenge. Maybe not in the physical sense, but you just want the person who has wronged you to feel some sort of pain, like the pain that you've endured. I may be wrong, but I feel like most people have been there. I mean you already know that I have haha so basically from here on out I am going to stop and catch myself anytime I feel bitterness or a desire for malice, and I'm going to remind myself of this post and the verses within it. Let's look at this one last time just to wrap it up,
"Being mad with somebody is like drinking a strong poison but expecting them to die"
I'm done drinking the poison. Are you?
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