THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES

Monday, March 29, 2010

Self Control

Ok so, all I can say is it's gonna be a long chapter in Sociology, for however long it takes. Hopefully not too long. We started the Religion chapter today, it's as intense as it sounds. I'm not even sure how to handle it. We were instructed to be objective listeners throughout the entire chapter and not "force our views" on others. While that's never been the easiest for me, and sitting in front of an atheist is not helping matters. My heart wants so badly to help him and introduce him to Jesus and show him the light that is God. But, I'm not sure how to approach it with him. He's.. one of the more.. obnoxious people I know and usually always has something to say about everything. I won't lie and tell you I'm not intimidated. I kept my cool the majority of the time today (though I was simmering on the inside) up until the point where a Christian girl in the video we were watching was giving a testimony about how God had changed her life and saved her from her sins in sex and drugs and rescued her from depression. I know that's 100% possible because he's done it for me, not in every aspect this girl was talking about of course but he's rescued me from my lowest point and changed my life forever. I was fine until the boy started going off about this girl saying some pretty mean things, and I couldn't keep silent anymore, I know I probably should have handled it very differently but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I turned around and told him that it is possible and I've been through it and implied without saying that he needed to close his mouth. I feel terrible about the harshness of my words when I said them, but it did it's purpose and he shut his mouth. Thank goodness I was literally 'saved by the bell' at that point and left without another word. 

Ultimately this is gonna be a rough time for me in what has been my favorite class all year. Prayers and any scripture or advice are much needed haha

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; 
       keep watch over the door of my lips.
[Psalm 141:3]
 

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Now

So if you know me you know that I've moved around.. a lot haha For the most part it's wonderful, I love meeting new people and making new friends, and the moving has caused me to have friends all over South Carolina. However there's a downside to that as well. I've been feeling really homesick lately for my friends in Spartanburg and it's just been really rough. So I decided I'd go to God, because after all he has all the answers. Well after an hour or so of hunting for a verse that related to what I needed I just couldn't find what I was searching for. That is, until I got some help from the ever so lovely Lauren Rudd. :) Within what seemed like no time at all I'd explained what it was I was looking for and she came back with at least 6 or 7 options of verses that suited my exact situation. There's not a doubt in my mind that God is working in that girl. 

But back to the point, about two nights ago I was having one of those homesick moments and basically torturing myself living in the past and trying to relive old memories. So as I was sitting there thinking about my life and friends up there I started to wonder about this path God has me on. I began questioning it and trying to take over and control it for myself. Of course that isn't the right attitude and there are countless pieces of scripture to support that. In trying to choose just one as an example, I'm finding it a very difficult task because I feel like every verse was written for me. Luckily, I've finally narrowed it down to two: :)
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
There you have it, God is working for me, for what I need and for my good, and I've been called here according to his purpose. This I fully believe, if it weren't for my moving here who knows where I would be? In my mind, Lexington was the place I grew up phsyically, Spartanburg where I grew up mentally, and now Aiken where I've grown up spiritually. If God hadn't led my family here I don't know that I would have the relationship with Him that I do, and that in and of itself is heartbreaking to me. I'm absolutely in love with Jesus and never want to lose him.
 Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Humans are meant to live in the present, learning from their pasts, and trusting God with their future. Well in my opinion that sounds much easier than it is. It's so easy for us to hold grudges or long for something that is no more. In my case it's longing for good ol' Sparklecity and the people along with it of course. :) So I've decided to attempt to live in the present haha It's a challenge for me to say the least. Of course I'm always going to remember the people I love and think of them, but I just have to learn to stop feeling sorry about it. This is my home now, for however short or long a time, this is where God has me. Not Spartanburg. Not Lexington. Aiken. So enough pining for the one's I've left behind, they're forever in my heart, but it's more than time to move on and start living in the now.
 I've gotten to a point where I love Spartanburg and Aiken equally and if asked to choose I'm not sure it would be possible. Every place I've ever been plays a serious role in the person I am today and I would never take anything back for a do-over.
 
This is a verse that Lauren found that's from an extra book in a Jewish bible or something like that but it's a great quote!

Ecclesiasticus 9:10 Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure. 

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Mapless

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

[Jeremiah 29:11]

Wow. This verse has taken on a whole new meaning for me lately. I've always been the kind of person who needs to learn for themselves, usually the hard way, and make more than several mistakes along the way. But I'm also the kind who learns from the mistakes and most of the time lives without regret. But I found this verse the other day and boy did it hit me in an entirely different way. Growing up Christian there's the verses you hear all the time, this being one of them, and unfortunately I had never quite given this much thought. Now that I'm older however and really reading verses for what they are I'm realizing a deeper meaning. "For I know the plans I have for you.." Well ok, so you have plans for me, but no, it doesn't stop there. "..Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." There's the WOW for me. Not only does God have my life planned out, he knows exactly what I need and wants me to succeed.

Although it's hard most of the time, I'm making a vow to myself to let go. I watch people who are constantly living in the "What if?" and I find myself lumped in there too at times. Always over thinking and wishing they would have done something differently. You also see people wanting desperately for something they think will make them better or help them reach a goal, but when the opportunity is lost for whatever reason, those people get angry or depressed and revert to the "What if?" "What if things had gone my way?" But that's exactly the problem. They're wanting things to go their way rather than the path God has set for them. Now don't think I'm trying to say I've got it figured out and never question or say 'what if,' in fact I think I may be the worst what if-er of them all at times. But I'm learning to trust in Him more and accept what happens in my life. After all who am I but one God has created? He's placed every obstacle and choice in my path to mold me in the way that He wants me to be. That is nothing short of amazing to me :)